Against my better judgment, I decided to stop drinking coffee today. Despite working as a barista during my college years, I never drank the stuff until I started as an associate at my firm. When I started at the firm, I still resisted. I’d come into work, sit in front of my computer and, for the first couple of weeks, I could get my work done without fear of losing concentration or drive. Now, 15 months into being an associate and my days are much different. I usually arrive at work, sit in front of my computer and stare at the screen, willing it to turn on and for the cursor to start typing a brilliant legal argument without the aid of my hands or brain. Thirty minutes of that and then I curse myself for wasting a .5 on feeble attempts at mental telepathy.
My energy, even when I was a twenty something law student, was much higher than it is now. If I’m awake at 10:30 at night, I think about how late it is and how tired I’ll be the next day and then I start thinking about how to re-arrange my morning schedule so I can sleep in a little later. It’s all become about prioritizing time. Something I was really terrible at doing before I started as an associate. Now, the six minute increments have opened up an entirely different meaning. Because, not only do I have to worry about how I’m going to bill at least 8 hours every week day, but I find that I start worrying about how the hell I am possibly going to accomplish everything I want to, especially knowing where I am in my life. Age and time become a real factor which was never a problem before.
How this relates back to coffee, I don’t know. I’m sure I could try to turn this into something to be pasted onto an annoying mug that would somehow find its way onto my assistant’s desk. In all honesty, if I had drank the damn stuff this morning, I probably wouldn’t be having an issue connecting my thoughts together right now.
F*** it. I’m having a cup tomorrow.